


I Swore I Could Feel You Breathe

by I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own



Series: Barduil [11]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 13:47:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4789475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own/pseuds/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I needed to talk to you.”</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“Now that I’m here, I’m not sure if I should tell you.”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“Mhm, I don’t think you’ll like it.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Swore I Could Feel You Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> I NEEDED TO WRITE SADNESS! OOPS! There's like three other Bards survives Thranduil fics that I'm writing right now. And I'm like 'omfg.' 
> 
> Title is from Don't Wake Me Up by the Hush Sound, which is, coincidentally, what I was listening to when writing this. :) 
> 
> At some point, I might post a second chapter, with a happier alternate ending. But I really doubt it rn.

Bard stares in silence at the person sitting across from him, the desk separating them. There are a thousand emotions running through him right now, each vying for attention, and he doesn’t know how to feel, how to react. Because Thranduil is sat across from him smiling _that_ smile at him, his eyes sparkling with secrets and starlight, and Bard hasn’t seen any of it for three years now. Not since they’d fought a pack of wolves on the shore of the Anduin, and Thranduil had been lost to the water.

“Do I have something on my face?” Thranduil asks, cocking his head to the side.

“No.”

“Then why do you keep staring at me?”

“Maybe, because you’re dead?” Bard retorts, raising an eyebrow.

“Bard, don’t be silly. I’m sitting right here, clearly I’m not dead.”

“Then I’m losing my mind, because I saw you fall into the water, it carried you away.”

“Well, I didn’t die, if that’s what you’re implying.” Thranduil replies, reaching forward to mess up Bard’s system, as he always did. “You need to order these by importance, not by date.” Thran scolds, causing Bard to roll his eyes.

“Because my paperwork is the important thing to discuss right now.” He says, sarcastically, falling so easily back into his old way of speaking with Thranduil. “And not at all the fact that apparently you’ve been alive for three years and you told no one?”

“I’ve spent the last two years and nine months in a coma, Bard, in Lorien.”

“I’m supposed to believe that?”

“Bard, I fell, unconscious, into the Anduin. I was lucky to survive at all.” Thranduil tells him with a sigh. “When I woke up, all I wanted to do was find you, and talk with you. But they told me how long I’d been asleep, an-and I don’t know, I guess I just thought it’d be better if I stayed away.”

“Then why did you come back?” Bard asks, eyes narrowed.

“I needed to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Now that I’m here, I’m not sure if I should tell you.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm, I don’t think you’ll like it.” Thranduil says, shuffling Bard’s papers around again.

“Just tell me. It’s apparently important enough to have you breaking your non-interference rule, so-“

“Are you sure?”

“Thran, why are you _here_?”

“Bard… _wake up_.”

* * *

Bard jerks awake, breathing heavily. Beside him, Thranduil huffs, rolling towards Bard to pull him into a comforting hug.

“Go back to sleep, meleth. It was just a dream.” Thranduil murmurs, voice thick with sleep.

“I know. I know.” Bard mumbles. “I love you.” He whispers, closing his eyes and drifting back to sleep, held safe and comfortable in Thranduil’s arms.

* * *

“Hello, handsome.” Bard turns quickly, eyes going wide.

“Thranduil?”

“Who else?” Thranduil asks, laughing.

“But you’re dead?”

“What?” Thranduil questions, a frown marring his face.

“You died.”

“What are you talking about, Bard? I’m immortal remember? I can’t just _die_.”

“Yo-you fell. Into the Anduin. I saw you. You died.”

“Bard. We’ve never been to the Anduin together.”

“Yes, we have. We were journeying to Rivendell. And we had to cross the Anduin, and we camped on the shore. And there were wolves. And you fell. Were carried away. I never saw you again.” Thranduil’s frown deepens and he crosses the room to stand before Bard, reaching forward to place his hand over Bard’s forehead. Bard barely resisting leaning into the touch.

“Well, you don’t have a fever. But maybe you’re coming down with something? Tilda did say there was a sickness going around.”

“I’m not sick.” Bard growls, pushing Thranduil’s hand away and putting distance between them. “You’re dead. You died.”

“Bard.”

“You’re dead.”

“Bard, I’m not dead.” Thranduil says, stepping closer and grabbing hold of Bard’s hand, he places it over his heart, Bard can feel the beat beneath his fingers. “That’s my heart, Bard. It’s still beating. I’m not dead.”

“But you-“

“Bard, listen to me. We’ve never been to the Anduin together. How could you have seen me fall into the Anduin if we’ve never been?”

“But-“

“I’m alive, Bard.” Thranduil tells him, pulling Bard into a tight hug. “I’m alive.”

“Oh, gods.” Bard exclaims, burying his face in Thranduil’s chest and crying. “Why did I think you were dead?”

“I don’t know. But we’ll find out, meleth. I promise.”

“I thought you were dead. I thought you were dead. I-“

_“Wake up!”_

* * *

Bard jerks awake with a small cry, a hand on his shoulder, and a voice shushing him.

“Sorry, sorry. You were crying, da.” Sigrid tells him, sitting down on the bed beside him. “I thought I should wake you.”

“It’s alright, darling.” Bard says, sighing and rubbing at his eyes. “It’s alright.”

“It was those dreams again, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Bard murmurs, closing his eyes and draping his hand over his forehead. “Yeah.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“No, it’s alright, you head on back to bed, darling.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Alright, da. But if you start having those nightmares again, I’m staying.”

“Okay.”

“We all miss him, da. And eventually it’ll become bearable, like with ma.” Sigrid says, kissing him on the cheek. “Sleep well, da.” She tells him, before taking her leave.

“You too, darling.” Bard answers, before sighing heavily and rolling onto his side, his hand reaching out to lay across the empty side of his bed. “I miss you, so much.” He whispers, opening his eyes to stare at the empty space where once his heart lay. “Gods, I miss you so much. If anyone was supposed to have died that day. It was me.” He closes his eyes again, breathing deeply. "Goodnight, Thranduil. I still love you." 


End file.
